House: You’re either perfect or you’re sick. In my experience, “sick” is much more common.

There’s definitely a higher-incidence of perfectionism among individuals with eating disorders, but had never thought about it the other way — that people who appear “perfect” are more likely to have mental illness. Okay, so this is not research and not exactly what House is…

In anticipation of the third season of “In Treatment” starting this fall, I’ve been “re-watching” season one. I say “re-watching” because I never finished watching it in the first place.  When I first started watching the show, I would watch one patient at a time — week one through week nine. Then I would choose another patient, and watch him/her for all nine weeks. I could do this since I had the DVDs.
This time, I’ve been watching the series as intended — week by week, with all …

It was really weird for me to look at anxiety as some positive indicator of change rather than some big red “stop! uncomfortableness ahead!” sign. If I were waiting for recovery to be comfortable, it was never going to happen. Challenging the eating disorder was never going to feel good (at least not while still in the thick of it).

As someone who’s struggled with an eating disorder for longer than I would like to admit, I’ve definitely had periods of falling into the “I suck at recovery” trap. It connects directly to the “I am wasting everyone’s time and don’t deserve help” trap as well as the “I’m actually fine and asking for too much because I’m attention-seeking like that” trap. And let’s not forget…

It has occurred to me lately how often I say “I don’t know” in my appointments (possibly even more often than I say “I know” !). My therapist has come to totally disregard the phrase, which for me, has become very versatile:

Type 1: the how-did-you-feel-in-that-situation “I don’t know”

The emperor allows himself to be duped because of his own self-delusions. Therapy, she says, deceived her into thinking she was in more in control of what was happening to her than she was and that “through reason, determination and an outlay of cash” she would be able to overcome a lifelong depression.”

“I’m not deflecting because I’m avoiding something deep. I’m deflecting because I’m avoiding something shallow.” – House, MD
One of my biggest treatment pet peeves is when professionals ask non-deep “deep” questions. For example:

What does it mean to feel?
How did it feel to be in that space?
How does it feel to be in this space now?
What does it mean for you to not be in that space anymore?
How do you experience that process?
What would it mean for there to be grey in your world?
How does it feel to have …

I read this post on Dads and Daughters With Eating Disorders: Eating Disorders – Weights & Scales
To summarize:
Because her health is directly related to her weight.  Measured by scales.
Her recovery is directly related to her weight.  Measured by scales.
Her life is directly related to her weight.  Measured by scales.
Weight matters.
And scales matter because they measure weight.
I posted a comment on this post, which hasn’t been approved yet, but I decided that I wanted to discuss the issue on Grey Thinking anyway.
Yes, weight is inexorably tied to health and to recovery.  …

Last night I watched all of the “In Treatment” Sophie episodes.  I am just engrossed in this show.  I feel so connected to the patients and to Paul.  I think that they discuss such intimate details that I feel like I am part of some deep relationship.  I can relate to a lot of what the patients say, so Paul’s responses are meaningful to me.  It’s also funny that I don’t feel comfortable ending therapy at the end of each season.  In episode nine of Sophie I was thinking, “No!  …

There have been many studies on family dynamics and the development of eating disorders, but I think that this is the first that I’ve seen that takes the next step and makes connections with specific symptomology: The dynamic relationship of parental personality traits with the personality and psychopathology traits of anorectic and bulimic daughters
Before I go further, I want to make two disclaimers.  First, from the article:
…we cannot infer a casual relationship between the parents’ personality traits and the daughter’s personality or psychopathology.  Moreover, correlational analysis does not define a …