Category Archives: Quotes

Quotes

Quotes and Meaning

I’m not usually much of a quote person, but recently I’ve run across that have really hit home with me, in regard to my eating disorder, treatment, recovery, and life.  Those who know me know that positive affirmations kind of drive me up the wall… but I have a lot of quotes and a list of “reasons to recover” (which I’ll post soon) that get me thinking give me a little bit of a reality check.  Sometimes I think I’m so stuck in the psychology of it all (challenging distorted thoughts, using DBT techniques (or trying to), discussing the meaning of whatever, going through my history and connecting those relationships, etc etc) that I need to go back to the simplicity of it all.  Life is challenging and it requires change.  Being hurt or sick doesn’t make you special, but overcoming it does.  Everyone has fears, expectations, and disappointments.  That’s reality.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” — Neale Donald Walsch

“Sometimes people use thought to NOT participate in life” — Stephen Chbosky

“Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” — Donald Miller

“Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheeful countenance at all times and give every living create you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud worlds but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

– Christian D. Larson

 

you gotta love

Trust and deception

I purchased a card with a quote from Christian D. Larson on it today (yes, I am a greeting card addict), which really has me thinking:

It is better ro have faith in everybody and be deceived occasionally than to mistrust everybody and be deceived almost constantly.”

– Christian D. Larson

I think this really struck a chord with me because I go so far out of my way to avoid feeling abandoned, rejected, hurt, forgotten, etc.  I have this idea that if I don’t care and if I don’t trust others, then I can’t be hurt.

My therapist and I talked about this while in treatment, and broke down why it’s not true for several reasons:

  1. My definition of “rejection” is skewed — being told “no” doesn’t necessarily mean rejection.
  2. Not letting myself be vulnerable enough to form connections makes me feel abandoned, rejected, hurt, etc, anyway… because I’m lonely.
  3. By caring less to avoid the abandonment, I’m not giving the relationship a chance and of course it’s not going to work out and be the meaningful friendship that I’m longing for.

Christian Larson’s point was something I should add to my list — because mistrusting everyone does feel like constant deception.  It reinforces the idea that you are alone in this world, people don’t care, and you are worthless.  So while refusing to trust others may feel like the safe option, it’s really the opposite.  Avoiding the chance of being deceived (which really does hurt and does a number on your self-esteem) is in reality more painful than trusting others and taking that risk.

I’m a math person… so using this idea, statistically it makes sense.  If you trust 2 in 10 people, and 1 of them hurts you (somehow), then you’re stuck with 1.  If you trust 8 people and 3 deceive you, you still have 5 trustworthy friends.  You come out ahead.