If you haven’t seen “In Treatment,” you definitely need to look it up.  It’s on HBO, so I would have never known it existed were it not for a good friend of mine.  Thank goodness she brought it to my attention, because I am so captivated by it.  While it can seem a little slow at times, the dynamics in the relationship between therapist and patient are so interesting.
Anyway, this past week I watched all seven weeks of April’s sessions.  I’m not going to summarize her whole story, but in …

I’ve been reading Dr. Drew’s book, “Cracked: Life on the Edge in a Rehab Clinic.” There are a million things that I could talk about concerning this book, so don’t be surprised if it’s referenced several times in future posts. Tonight, the following quote really caught my attention:
“Most believe [addicts] connect around a common experience of pain and powerlessness without the fear of exploitation. Their pain is so raw and tender that getting them to start the process requires them to be convinced that their pain will …

I’d never heard of a “Sober Coach” until watching VH1′s “Sober House.” In the last episode (I think), Will, who is Seth’s Sober Coach, accompanies him to his first concert and make sure that nothing happens to jeopardize his sobriety. While watching this I thought, “Well that’s convenient — I could use someone protecting me from anything eating disordered.”
Upon thinking about it a little more, though, I wasn’t sure what this Anti-ED Coach would protect me from. Would he make sure no one served me diet coke? …

It’s been a little while since I talked about Celebrity Rehab, but I have been meaning to write about Gary Busey’s “Buseyisms” (by the way, I highly recommend that you watch this — it’s less than two minutes long).  Buseyisms are really just made-up acronyms.  Backward acronyms, I guess, but you start with the acronym and come up with the meaning to match the letters.
I’m sure you’ve heard these before… like FINE – Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.  Now, look at a few of Gary’s…
Doubt – Debating On Understanding Bewildering …

Chase: You don’t let other people’s problems affect you. You don’t let your own problems affect you, and it’s the screw-ups that make us interesting. You’re never out of control, which is good… and boring. Never losing control means you’re never putting yourself out there, never pushing your limits.
– House MD, Lucky Thirteen

The problem with perfection (ha, that’s ironic): it’s boring. There’s nothing “special” about seeming perfect. And yet, I still strive for it. I want for everything to be “correct.”
I want to….

always get …

I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I have several leather bound books. And my apartment spells like rich mahogony. I’m friends with Merle Olsen. He comes over on occasion.
- Ron Burgunday, Anchorman

There have been a number of posts lately about eating disorders on facebook and the prominence of “sick photos” (the first post coming to mind is Laura Collins “The faces in facebook“). While I have yet to run into any of that on FB, it doesn’t …

Dr. Wilson: House! Why the hell did you let an unstable patient wander the hallways?!
Dr. House: His leash broke.
I’ve always found the transition between “treatment” and the “real world” fascinating. One minute you are a “real adult” — you can drive your car, eat what you want, walk the dog, go to work, go on a vacation, make bad choices, make good choices… but as soon as you walk through those treatment-center doors, all of these adult “privileges” are revoked. Your purse and coat is locked up …

“I wish that all these guys were going to stay clean, I really do. I’ve just seen it so many times that I can tell when someone’s really willing to do whatever it takes and when someone’s willing to do what they think it should take. And it’s just not going to work like that, unfortunately.”
–Shelly, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew 2

I was watching Celebrity Rehab 2 online tonight (since I’m a little behind), and these words from Shelley really caught my attention. There are so many …

I had a dietitian call me this once… and I’m sure she didn’t create the label just for me. By “dishonest” she meant that I wasn’t a vegetarian for moral reasons, but for ED reasons.
If you’ve ever been residential, you know that there is a much higher incidence of vegetarianism in eating disorder patients than in the general population (similar to how there are so many more runners (even marathoners!) with EDs… but I’ll save that thought for another day). Coincidence? Probably not.
Converting to vegetarianism is often …

You think that the only truth that matters is that truth can be measured. Good intentions don’t count. What’s in your heart doesn’t count. Caring doesn’t count.
–Moriarty, House M.D. No Reason

The belief that “things don’t count” has always been a huge obstacle for me in recovery. Maybe originally I used the eating disorder to physically communicate something that I couldn’t verbalize… or maybe it was a manifestation of an unspoken problem that had to surface somehow. Or maybe I just had the biology + trauma = anorexia equation …