There was a post on Lifehack the other day called, “3 Reasons Why Shame is Your Friend.”  I saw that headline and of course HAD to read it. It turns out it’s the third in a series, after “Why Fear is Your Friend”  and “Why Sadness is Your Friend.” How many times have we talked about these things in therapy… as negative influences?
Personally, they’re all pretty interconnected for me. I’m all about avoiding everything (seriously), and a lot of that is probably fear-based. I’m afraid of screwing …

It was really weird for me to look at anxiety as some positive indicator of change rather than some big red “stop! uncomfortableness ahead!” sign. If I were waiting for recovery to be comfortable, it was never going to happen. Challenging the eating disorder was never going to feel good (at least not while still in the thick of it).

I’ve heard that “the eating disorder is like a bad boyfriend.” I guess that in this context, referring to the eating disorder as “Ed” makes a lot of sense. The boyfriend analogy aside, the eating disorder does fall under the category of “toxic relationship.” Just look at how relevant the 10 steps are…

I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I have several leather bound books. And my apartment spells like rich mahogony. I’m friends with Merle Olsen. He comes over on occasion.
- Ron Burgunday, Anchorman

There have been a number of posts lately about eating disorders on facebook and the prominence of “sick photos” (the first post coming to mind is Laura Collins “The faces in facebook“). While I have yet to run into any of that on FB, it doesn’t …

Laura Collins raised a GREAT question today — Does (mom’s) size matter? While I have a lot to say about the matter, two main points come to mind:
1. Mothers with eating disorders
I think that your mother’s weight and behaviors surrounding food are much more relevant in recovery than in the downward eating disorder spiral. Parents model for their kids — I’d argue that this is even true for adult kids (adult kids, ha — you know what I mean). While I think that the eating habits of …

Cammy wrote a post about an experience that I (and probably many individuals with eating disorders) have been able to relate to on many occasions–an appointment with an ED-ignorant physician.  It happens all the time, and sometimes the professionals are VERY nice… they just don’t know anything about eating disorders.  So, rather than commandeer her comments with my own experiences, I thought I’d dedicate a post to some of the more frustrating remarks that I’ve received from doctors (and nurses–not dietitians, therapists, psychiatrists, etc.  I’ll save those for another day).

The …

There has been a lot of talk about remission in eating disorders lately, and I couldn’t be happier to hear about it. I have long believed that EDs are chronic and that even though it’s probably possible to reach a point of 98% recovery, there’s no hitting 100%. There is no recoverED.
While this probably sounds depressing, I actually think that the idea of remission is very validating. It gives you another shade of gray in the sick to healthy spectrum. Plus, I think there’s a fear …

One of these days, I will start a “Grey’s take on the Maudsley Method” series. Not because I think that it’s wrong or right, but just because I think it’s really interesting and have a lot to say about it.
In the meantime though, I want to highlight a quote from Laura Collins’ article, “The size of the trigger or the speed of the bullet?”
An eating disorder is not a sign of deep wounds, but some people do have deep wounds, and it makes recovery harder.
I’m curious — this this …

She who orders the smallest salad ‘wins’
I found Rachel’s post to be very interesting — and largely true to my experience. In face, we often decide on the restaurant based on what we’re getting. Sometimes we get salads, other time’s it’s pizza… sometimes it’s just a drink and dessert. But usually it’s almost the same thing. I don’t think that it’s that odd… but my intake is definitely influenced by my dining partner.
My big exception to this, though… is going out to eat with other eating …