trying to come back…
if you haven’t noticed (which means you probably don’t read grey thinking very often), there have been a…. well, lack of posts (to say the least) in the last year. this is because I’ve had to take some time off for myself and get away from all the constant talk of mental illness: the eating...
The “enough factor”
If you don’t know already, I’ll tell you now: you were born good enough. It’s only your thinking, beliefs and fear that get in the way. Naturally, we all have strengths, weaknesses and flaws but the underlying question we seem to want answered is not really, ‘am I good enough to do A, B or...
Treatment losses
I recently left a treatment facility (hence the extreme lack of p;osts), and experienced one of the most frustrating things — I felt like I was losing everything, even though logically I knew that I was gaining the rest of my life. Losses: Good friendships with other patients Meaningful relationships with my treatment team and...
Revisiting CBT-E
Funny story.
So, I was talking with a previous therapist today and inquiring about maybe working with her again. She told me that she was now using a new kind of therapy -- CBT-E. It sounded familiar to me, but all I could recall off the top of my head was that...
So, I was talking with a previous therapist today and inquiring about maybe working with her again. She told me that she was now using a new kind of therapy -- CBT-E. It sounded familiar to me, but all I could recall off the top of my head was that...
Empowered discussion
Laura from “Eating With Your Anorexic” posted something the other day, that I just HAD to comment on: Something new is happening in eating disorders. The voice of eating disorder patients is less stereotyped, more empowered, and less victimized. Why? I attribute the changes to two separate but interacting elements: the cross-pollination of the Internet,...
My therapist, in the group room, with a candlestick
Recently, my therapist started leading a group that I'm in. Most people who've done any kind of intense treatment (inpatient, residential, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, etc), have probably had this experience (myself included) but it's pretty rare that my therapist now either facilitates or...
My dog doesn’t diet
I wasn't measuring his food or anything, but realized that I was filling up his bowl more often. To top it off, our pet sitter said something to me about it one day. Her words were, "So why is he eating so much? You know, he's gaining weight and adult dogs aren't...
Jungle Book moment
{fade to the vultures sitting on a dead tree} Buzzy: Hey, Flaps, what we gonna do? Flaps: I don’t know. What you wanna do? Ziggy: I got it! Let’s flap over to the east side of the jungle! They’ve always got a bit of action, a bit of a swinging scene. All right? Buzzy: Ah, come...
Cruel to be kind
You know what? I don't want to be friends, either. Oddly enough, the professionals I like are the ones who make my eating disorder angry. I respect them and trust them more since they're not compromising with my eating disorder. And there are lots of times that I complain, don't follow their recommendations, and...
Elephants and betta fish
I’ve been in an outpatient eating disorders group for awhile now. There’s nothing special about it — it’s just a weekly / bi-weekly group at a treatment center, with women of all ages and ED diagnoses Everyone either has to be in outpatient therapy at the center or have done some kind of intense treatment...
TMI, Panera
Over the weekend, I had my first experience with Panera’s new calorie-labelled menus. Honestly, I order the same couple of things every time, so the menus may have been there for a couple of weeks and I just haven’t noticed. Regardless, I was a little shocked to see them. I’ve been trying to figure out...
The focus factor
In Agile development, the focus factor (or productivity factor) is used for planning to help determine how many "real hours" you have to work on something. It's the difference between "real hours" and "ideal hours." I was thinking about how the eating disorder would affect my focus factor, and tried to break down...
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