Many months ago, there was an awesome cartoon on Therapy Tales that I have been dying to expand upon. It starts like this:
I’ve often thought about what my therapist would say were I to tell her about my blog. I bet she’d be thinking something like the following (note: I am NOT the artist that Therapy Tales is!):

Yeah, I don’t think we’ll be having this conversation any time soon…

Several weeks ago I wrote a post — that I never published — titled, “I need an iPad for recovery.” There has been a lot of negative press about eating disorders and technology, so in contrast I’m going to explain how I’ve used my iPhone / iPad to aid my recovery…

In Agile development, the focus factor (or productivity factor) is used for planning to help determine how many “real hours” you have to work on something. It’s the difference between “real hours” and “ideal hours.” I was thinking about how the eating disorder would affect my focus factor, and tried to break down the components into a pie chart…

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!

I just couldn’t resist…
On the 12th day of Christmas,
my therapist gave to me…

12 new feeling words
11 prying questions
9 self-affirmations …

I know a lot of patients (and professionals) who refer to their eating disorder as “Ed” (E.D.).  I’ve always been a little wary of this… it feels weird to name a disorder that I’m struggling with.  It makes me feel like I have schizophrenia or DID or something.  However, in some ways it helps to thing of the eating disorder as a separate voice.  It helps me to separate what I want from what the eating disorder wants.
My dietitian once told me “don’t bring Ed to dinner – leave him …

(in no particular order)

You measure the cost of things in nutrition appointments (ex: That shirt is one nutrition appointment. These shoes are worth two appointments).
You start dressing like your professionals (or maybe, they starts dressing like you…)
“Treatment” is a recurring event with no end date on your calendar.
You’ve never needed to purchase “Eating in the Light of the Moon” because at some point you have been given a photocopy of every chapter.
In group, no one sits in your seat, even when you’re not there (because you’ve been sitting there …

It’s been a little while since I talked about Celebrity Rehab, but I have been meaning to write about Gary Busey’s “Buseyisms” (by the way, I highly recommend that you watch this — it’s less than two minutes long).  Buseyisms are really just made-up acronyms.  Backward acronyms, I guess, but you start with the acronym and come up with the meaning to match the letters.
I’m sure you’ve heard these before… like FINE – Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.  Now, look at a few of Gary’s…
Doubt – Debating On Understanding Bewildering …

anorexic handwriting: small, meticulous, and linear — font-like.
I’ve been told more than once that I have “anorexic handwriting.” Aside from the fact that this label is very non-PC, I never really put eating disorders and handwriting together. When I was inpatient, I remember this girl had really, REALLY tiny handwriting. We’re talking microscopic, get out your magnifying glass-tiny. I’ve had both a nutritionist and therapist refer to my handwriting as “anorexic.” How exactly are you supposed to respond to that, by the way? Um, …

My boyfriend works in the ED (Emergency Department).
At work, sometimes I need to purge information (clear out).
There is a lot of terminology used in the eating disorder world, and it’s funny how it still catches me off-guard when similar acronyms / terminology is used in the real world.
BP: Binge/Purge — or a gas station
AN: Anorexia Nervosa — or atomic number (that was always weird to see on paper in chemistry)
BED: Binge Eating Disorder — or Bachelor of Education
OD: Overdose — or overdue
And one of these days …