Today officially marks the start of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. I’m glad that there IS a week dedicated to eating disorder awareness, although I confess that I’ve never been much of a participant.

There’s lots of great stuff out there this week, and this afternoon I stumbled upon a blog post over at BlogHer:  The benefits of staying in my insanity

It may be hard to believe, but eating disorders serve a purpose for someone struggling with one.

Like what?

• Control – while I hate the “I developed an eating disorder because it was the one thing I could control in my life” statement, it’s not not completely wrong. There is definitely something to be said about the role of control in EDs. Of course, you are NOT in control when you’re suffering… but sometimes it sure feels like it.
• Distraction — this was big for me. I would make a list of all the things I DON’T want to think about, but it could go on forever. Work stress, relationship problems, and money, just to name a few. Oh, and then there are all the negative emotions that I want to avoid: loneliness, hurt, fear, etc. I’m all about avoidance — I don’t even want to think about uncomfortable things. So instead, it’s “I’m not hurt that my mom didn’t visit… I would have to eat a big dinner with her, anyway.” Or “My weight was down today! Down! Oh, that work project that I am afraid I screwed up? Whatever, at least my weight is down.” Maybe those aren’t the best examples, but my therapist would ask me “What were you avoiding this week?” whenever I had a bad ED behavior week.
• Care / Concern – when you get sick, people around you are suddenly concerned. Somehow you make the connection that “I need to be sick to be cared about.” There sure seems to be a linear relationship there sometimes. I also have friends who said the eating disorder made them feel “special.”
• Safety – this one is hard for me to explain, but there’s something that feels “safe” about the eating disorder. You are essentially simplifying your life by creating a world that revolves around food and weight. There’s this fear that you alone are not enough, or you’re a disappointment, or that everyone around you handles life so much better than you do. I remember telling my therapist in college that “I have to hold onto the eating disorder, just in case I suck at life.” The eating disorder felt like a safety net.
• Self-Punishment – I think the ED can be a type of self-harm… a way to hurt yourself for “screwing up.” Unless you have a history of self-injury, this probably sounds like something negative that the ED would provide.

I think it’s safe to say that the eating disorder is a coping mechanism. Maladaptive, sure, but it does serve a purpose in your life. There’s a reason that people hold onto it and end up in treatment multiple times. However, the eating disorder is not a solution. It doesn’t make you in control, the problems you are ignoring don’t just disappear, friends/family get worn out from years of being concerned, you feel like you are missing out on your life because you’re so stuck in your safe (and really really boring) ED world, and you don’t need to be punishing yourself.

I’d argue with the original writer that “there are no benefits.” Maybe there are no long-term benefits… but in the moment, the eating disorder does something for you.

Note: I am by no means suggesting that eating disorders are okay… just that the process of recovery isn’t so black-and-white.