A little background info….
My husband and I have a 4-year old terrier. I used to say that he was like our kid, until I realized that my friends with kids didn’t really like my aligning our dog to their child. Someday we want to have kids — but not yet. For now, our dog is enough of a handful (actually, I think we could handle another dog, but that’s an argument for another day).
Luckily for me, food has always been pretty much a non-event with our dog. I always leave food out for him, and he eats when he’s hungry. He gets a treat after dinner and whenever the little girl next door comes over to play with him. He’s easy. Plus, he gets a fair amount of exercise (we walk him 1 – 1.5 hours/day) and always gets a good report card at the vet, so I’ve never been concerned.
This past summer, we had the dog neutered. I didn’t notice for at least a month, but afterwards he started eating more. I wasn’t measuring his food or anything, but realized that I was filling up his bowl more often. He started to put on a little weight, which was okay. However, he kept gaining weight… and I still don’t think he’s overweight, but he really shouldn’t gain more weight. And I swear I’m not being disordered when I say that.
To top it off, our pet sitter said something to me about it one day. Her words were, “So why is he eating so much? You know, he’s gaining weight and adult dogs aren’t supposed to.” This made me angry for a couple of reasons:
- The first line is a stupid question. “Why is he eating so much?” Uhhh… because he’s hungry? Because he’s preparing for winter? In case there’s a famine?
- The protective part of me thinks, “Leave my poor dog alone. Stop judging his weight.”
- I’m a little defensive when it comes to other people telling me things about my dog.
- The whole “adult dogs aren’t supposed to” thing makes it sound like he’s doing something wrong. He’s not.
- Food / weight is a touchy subject for me. I don’t expect people to tip-toe around me, and there’s no way she’d know that anyway, but still — it is.
My husband and I decided that we’d start measuring the dog’s food. That’s not weird… lots of dogs aren’t “self-feeders” (thanks, Emily, for that term). It was an awkward conversation to have, though. I didn’t want him to freak out and think I was trying to starve the dog. I’m not putting him on a diet — I just want to feed him the appropriate amount.
It’s been about three weeks since we started this, and the whole thing is just killing me. I’m giving our dog the recommended amount of food, and sometimes he’ll still sit at his bowl and cry. I can’t handle that! He’s telling me he’s hungry and I’m saying that he can’t eat something. I’m paranoid about my eating disorder contributing to the situation. It all feels so wrong. After a decade of anorexia treatment, saying “you’ve already eaten enough, you shouldn’t be hungry, you can’t have any more” sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
I usually end up giving in and giving him a little more food (which I know is just reinforcement for begging). I don’t know if he’s actually hungry. I grew up with a beagle who would have eaten the entire bag of dog food in one sitting, were he given the opportunity. The stress of the scenario is compounded by all my “what am I going to do when I have kids?” worrying.
It’s in these situations that I’m reminded of the far-reaching effects of the ED. In the midst of disorderedness, it feels like you’re only hurting yourself. It also seems like recovery is this easy equation:
normal eating + normal weight + healthy relationships + satisfying life = recovery
…or something like that. Too bad it doesn’t quite work like that.
I understand this dilemma and it isn’t easy. Yes, I do realize that pets aren’t actually children, but for some of us they are the proxy children and I guess it is better for us to experiment and get our food issues resolved with them rather than acting them out with our children (if, and/or when we have them).
As someone who is obese, I am super sensitive to weight comments about my dog. I assume that when people see me (and assume) that I can’t control my own weight/food consumption, they also assume I will have a dog with a weight “problem” so they are quick to caution me about over feeding my dog, or they will warn me that he shouldn’t gain any weight. I understand their comments. I know that objectively extra weight isn’t good for joints and I want my dog to feel healthy and spry for as long as he can. Extra weight isn’t desirable.
The first time I dropped my dog off at the kennel they asked me how much food to give him. I was at a loss, and I wondered if I was a poor pet parent because I never really measured. We have just evolved into this habit of me leaving food out for him all the time; it is there for him to eat as he would like. I’ve never really measured, and I envy his ability to just eat what he needs and leave the rest. I envy it so much that I have commented on it in therapy several times.
You probably shouldn’t take advice from someone who was denied food growing up, as I probably have a pretty distorted perception, but what if your dog is just putting on some winter weight. Evolutionarily, there is something to be said for that and it could be that this may just be something that will happen (gain a few ounces in the winter and lose it in the spring)? I know that my dog’s weight does supposedly go up at times, but even the vet says he isn’t overweight. Also, last time I checked, pet sitter’s weren’t the final authority on whether adult pets are supposed to gain weight, just saying…
You have to remember that when it comes to dogs and cats, eating is different. The usual is two times a day for adults and three times a day for puppies/kittens and anywhere from a cup to a quarter cup depending on the animal’s size. By the end of the day he/she will have had more than enough calories (there’s about 3,705 in a cup of this specific brand I’m looking at by Blue Buffalo). When you free feed a dog or cat they often don’t quite know when to stop so they could be digesting more than double that amount, especially if you keep filling the bowl whenever he begs for more.
Your dog just isn’t used to a schedule or the proper portions that he actually requires. Keep in mind that this can’t be equated to dieting, it’s just a return to normal eating instead of the doggy equivalent to binging.
It can be tough when you have your own food issues. There have been times when I’ve become defensive over my dog’s weight, but the majority of time, I don’t have a problem with it. Because I see different dogs on a continual basis ,I see a lot of variety of sizes and weights. All dogs are different. There are some who are picky eaters, others would eat practically anything they could and gorge themselves, and others who eat, then simply walk away.
I will say that measuring food is not weird at all, and actually, it’s what I prefer clients and myself do. It’s just a way of regulating intake which can affect a lot of things in general. I’ve always measured my dogs’ food, and because I do a raw food diet, I try to make sure they get certain percentages of meat, veggies/fruit, organ meat, etc. But that is me. I also think that actually regulating intake is good for learning proper elimination schedules, especially with puppies. I know your dog is an adult now, so that is not an issue, but it is one good reason why measuring and knowing when your dog eats is important.
When one of my dogs was a little “plump,” I didn’t put him on a diet per se, I just increased his vegetable intake, and after a number of months, he lost those few pounds and has been fine since. I guess I look at when you have to cut back on your dog’s diet, it is just that–cutting back a little. It’s not being super over the top, that would be starvation. Maybe I’m able to say “well, yes, my dog may feel like he is starving, but i know from my background, he is not.”
There could also be other reasons why your dog is hungry. Maybe the food he is on isn’t filling enough for him or have enough kcal to reach his body type. Maybe there is an underlying physical/medical issue. Maybe he is just not used to getting less food but will eventually.
If you are really concerned, talk to your vet about it. Let them know your concerns, how much you need to feed or not, etc. Maybe that will help assuage what you’re feeling.
Tiptoe –
Thanks for the suggestions. Unfortunately, my dog won’t eat vegetables… bummer. He’s been on the same food for a couple of years and was fine the last time he was at the vet, but maybe it’s worth going again and having things checked out.
it’s funny, he gets so upset if he doesn’t get lunch. I didn’t think dogs usually got lunch, but mine’s pretty stubborn about it. I’m portioning things out now so that he can eat three times a day — and that seems to be helping — but he’s still not excited about the whole deal.
However, my dietitian would probably love to hear that my dog is so adament about not skipping a meal….
Just reading this now as I was gone. Re: veggies, trying pureeing them and mixing them with the food. It works really well for most dogs and is actually the best way they process them as otherwise, you will see chunks of veggies from the other end.
Currently, I will say my bunny is on a slight cut back. My parents gave her dog food for a week while I was gone rather than her pellets. Short term is obesity, long term would have been diabetes.
quick reply, Cuddles has been on a diet since January or February, and I felt the same way! I was like “We don’t diet in our household. I don’t believe in restrictive diets.” and the vet made me feel like I was being a bad pet parent for resisting.
Laur –
Haha, did you tell the Vet that there’s no dieting allowed in your house? That would have been awesome.
Hello
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