What do you mean you can’t see the clothes?
The following quote is from an author named Judith Schwartz, who wrote the book: The Therapist’s New Clothes. Psychology Today wrote a very interesting article on the novel and on being addicted to therapy.
“…Hans Christian Andersen’s The Emperor’s New Clothes, a tale about con men who promise an emperor a new suit of clothes invisible to those unfit for their positions. When the emperor parades naked before his subjects, a child cries out, “The king has nothing on!”
Judith identifies with the emperor who allows himself to be duped because of his own self-delusions. Therapy, she says, deceived her into thinking she was in more in control of what was happening to her than she was and that “through reason, determination and an outlay of cash” she would be able to overcome a lifelong depression.”
I never thought of relating therapy to The Emperor’s New Clothes, but it’s a a really clever allusion. I think it sums up one of my fears in trusting a therapist. Maybe I’ll call it the Emperor’s New Clothes Phenomenon. Hmm. Anyway, I think this can be a big misconception.. that through the magic of talking about your childhood, therapy can cure all of your ills. You show up, talk a lot, get some sage advise from your therapist, and bam! Mental illness cured.
She is understandably angry, more with herself than with her Freudian clinicians: all those years wasted in misery, the attention she didn’t give the people she loved. Her self-preoccupation and childhood focus had put a great deal of tension on her relationship with her parents and distanced her from her husband and son.
I’ve never done true psychoanalysis, but have had therapists who leaned in the direction of psychodynamics. I won’t lie and say I don’t think there’s any use in talking about past stuff – because in a lot of scenarios there is. However, there have been times when I explored my childhood and all the possible problems that went along with it, and still didn’t really feel better (nor was my eating disorder better). My therapist would tell me how much progress I was making and how I was having these great breakthroughs, and I decided I’d just have to trust her, because I really wasn’t sure what she was talking about. At some point I just got angry, because I felt that there was so much going on in my life NOW that was significant. Plus, I was spending so much time reading old journals and thinking about things that happened fifteen years ago. I was not very present in my own life.
Judith articulates this beautifully in one line:
“With my mind free of the minutiae of self-analysis I can tune into what’s around me in new ways”
Anyway, I think that some individuals believe that there are two types of people in this world: Those who’ve had therapy and those who have not. The people who have processed their unconscious thoughts and all of the significant events in their life have some kind of self-enlightenment. Those who haven’t are walking around in the dark.
The next time my therapist asks me “How do you know when you are done with treatment?,” I am definitely going to answer “When I can see the invisible clothes.” (Though, that comment might actually land me in several more months of therapy…)
Picture Credit: Annie White at Studio Whites
I’m right there with you on wondering how much utility dredging up the past really has on the here and now. I guess it can be useful for understanding some of the origins of behavior and thinking, but it doesn’t seem to give me much insight into what I can do now.
Its a conundrum I guess. I do love your response to,” how do you know you’re done with treatment?” Very appropriate
I’m a big fan of therapy and think everyone could benefit from it. That said, I think it’s rare that talk therapy alone is going to have the desired effect, largely because of exactly what you’re saying here.
I think that with eating disorders it’s particularly difficult to get benefits through talk therapy alone, because chances are you’re also suffering from poor nutrition. I’m in treatment now and am seeing how the multipronged approach is absolutely what I need–talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. (I’m not on medication but see how it has helped other patients, so that’s another possible prong.) But NONE of this would be helpful if it weren’t for the fact that I’m now, for the first time ever, receiving proper nutrition. When I was in therapy years ago, it wasn’t specifically for my eating disorder, but I now see that even if I had been more open about my ED it wouldn’t have helped that much, simply because I was constantly exhausted and foggy-minded because of my ED.
I have definitely been in the situation where a therapist wants to talk about my past, and all I can think about is “my life is SO different then when my ED started, why should we talk about the past?” Recently, I had to complete a timeline of my eating disorder for my therapist, and it was definitely helpful, and in a way I did feel a new sense of self-enlightenment after completing it and looking at the trends. But, that didn’t make it any easier to go home and eat my next meal.
I always thought (and hoped) that I would magically be ED free once I did enough self-reflection and figured out the function of the eating disorder and stuff. But it isn’t that easy – therapy isn’t some silver bullet that magically translates into recovery. I definitely think therapy is helpful, but it isn’t just about going in and talking – it is about a lot of hard work on the outside.