Comments on: The Best Worst http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/ "being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things." - christina, grey's anatomy Sat, 14 Jan 2012 23:26:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Telle http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/comment-page-1/#comment-629 Telle Mon, 07 Dec 2009 10:53:28 +0000 http://www.greythinking.com/?p=486#comment-629 Amen to that! I see a LOT of young people who've come into my office, or I've supported or what have you... and sooo many want to be the best worst and it makes me want to cry! (plus knock their heads together) Not everyone has had trauma and some have and while every trauma is valid... that doesn't mean its the worst and oh my... I so often think fixing THAT need is more important then dealing with the trauma... almost like dealing with the trauma/ed etc continues that cycle in and of itself! Anyway, I really like what you wrote and it also reflects my perceptions :) Amen to that!

I see a LOT of young people who’ve come into my office, or I’ve supported or what have you… and sooo many want to be the best worst and it makes me want to cry! (plus knock their heads together)

Not everyone has had trauma and some have and while every trauma is valid… that doesn’t mean its the worst and oh my… I so often think fixing THAT need is more important then dealing with the trauma… almost like dealing with the trauma/ed etc continues that cycle in and of itself!

Anyway, I really like what you wrote and it also reflects my perceptions :)

]]> By: greythinking http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/comment-page-1/#comment-620 greythinking Sat, 05 Dec 2009 15:43:55 +0000 http://www.greythinking.com/?p=486#comment-620 <b>imaginenamaste</b> - Thanks, glad you like the new design! From my experience, the "best worst" thing isn't really talked about in groups. Maybe that is for the best; I guess the depends on how it's affecting other people in the group? <b>Laura</b> - It's interesting that your therapist recommends having on anorexic per group. I kind of agree… although I think it really matters on where someone is in their recovery. I've never seen these "virtual group therapy" blogs that you've mentioned - could you send me a link to one? You can email me if you don't want to post - greythinking (at) gmail (dot) com. I also love the phrase, "story topper." Maybe I should change the title of this post…. Hmm. Anyway, I agree with your thoughts on emotional maturity and can relate to your experiencing these people differently throughout the progression of your treatment. I also think there might be something about recognizing the "story topper" pattern. The more women I meet with eating disorders, the more patterns I recognize. <b>Emily</b> - I haven't seen the issue too much in strictly outpatient groups, either. I always wondered what you do with people competing to be the sickest… it seems like they are usually moved to a higher level of care, though. Maybe that move helps them feel more validated with struggling or maybe it gives them the time/attention they need to deal with the ED. imaginenamaste – Thanks, glad you like the new design! From my experience, the “best worst” thing isn’t really talked about in groups. Maybe that is for the best; I guess the depends on how it’s affecting other people in the group?

Laura – It’s interesting that your therapist recommends having on anorexic per group. I kind of agree… although I think it really matters on where someone is in their recovery. I’ve never seen these “virtual group therapy” blogs that you’ve mentioned – could you send me a link to one? You can email me if you don’t want to post – greythinking (at) gmail (dot) com.

I also love the phrase, “story topper.” Maybe I should change the title of this post…. Hmm. Anyway, I agree with your thoughts on emotional maturity and can relate to your experiencing these people differently throughout the progression of your treatment. I also think there might be something about recognizing the “story topper” pattern. The more women I meet with eating disorders, the more patterns I recognize.

Emily – I haven’t seen the issue too much in strictly outpatient groups, either. I always wondered what you do with people competing to be the sickest… it seems like they are usually moved to a higher level of care, though. Maybe that move helps them feel more validated with struggling or maybe it gives them the time/attention they need to deal with the ED.

]]> By: Laura http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/comment-page-1/#comment-618 Laura Sat, 05 Dec 2009 14:20:50 +0000 http://www.greythinking.com/?p=486#comment-618 Emily, I agree with what you said about it being attributed to more things than just competitiveness. I, too, have thought about the role of emotional maturity being a role in people feeling the need to be a "Story topper." I used to get SO annoyed at "story toppers.' I thought they were so immature, counterproductive, and full of themselves. Now (perhaps as I've matured), I have sympathy for them. Perhaps this is now because hearing their stories is not at all triggering to me because I feel proud to feel stable in my progress towards health. I don't know what changed from seeing story toppers as annoying to seeing them in a sympathetic light, but I'm guessing I changed - not them. I'm guessing I grew up. I'm guessing I saw their story topper-ness as a symptom of someone who just needs people to care for them and show them they're a valuable person regardless of their story.... Emily, I agree with what you said about it being attributed to more things than just competitiveness. I, too, have thought about the role of emotional maturity being a role in people feeling the need to be a “Story topper.” I used to get SO annoyed at “story toppers.’ I thought they were so immature, counterproductive, and full of themselves. Now (perhaps as I’ve matured), I have sympathy for them. Perhaps this is now because hearing their stories is not at all triggering to me because I feel proud to feel stable in my progress towards health. I don’t know what changed from seeing story toppers as annoying to seeing them in a sympathetic light, but I’m guessing I changed – not them. I’m guessing I grew up. I’m guessing I saw their story topper-ness as a symptom of someone who just needs people to care for them and show them they’re a valuable person regardless of their story….

]]> By: Emily http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/comment-page-1/#comment-617 Emily Sat, 05 Dec 2009 13:50:55 +0000 http://www.greythinking.com/?p=486#comment-617 Interesting. Although I don't think I've seen the best/worst competition in my current OP ED group, I would imagine that IP would be very different. To some extent there are always those people who I call "story toppers" but that tenancy has to be very disturbing and counter productive in a treatment setting whether it is related to trauma or ED. I think the best/worst is most easily attributed to competitiveness, but I tend to believe its not necessarily just that. I wonder if the need to be the best or worst is related to emotional maturity and/or other diagnoses. I also potentially see the best/worst competition as a reaction to a lifetime of having one's experiences dismissed by others. Regardless of its root causes it has to be pretty counterproductive to treatment as a whole and I would hope and imagine that treatment teams try to limit it as much as they can (it must be nearly impossible to completely eliminate it in IP though). Interesting. Although I don’t think I’ve seen the best/worst competition in my current OP ED group, I would imagine that IP would be very different. To some extent there are always those people who I call “story toppers” but that tenancy has to be very disturbing and counter productive in a treatment setting whether it is related to trauma or ED.

I think the best/worst is most easily attributed to competitiveness, but I tend to believe its not necessarily just that. I wonder if the need to be the best or worst is related to emotional maturity and/or other diagnoses. I also potentially see the best/worst competition as a reaction to a lifetime of having one’s experiences dismissed by others.

Regardless of its root causes it has to be pretty counterproductive to treatment as a whole and I would hope and imagine that treatment teams try to limit it as much as they can (it must be nearly impossible to completely eliminate it in IP though).

]]> By: Laura http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/comment-page-1/#comment-616 Laura Sat, 05 Dec 2009 12:37:23 +0000 http://www.greythinking.com/?p=486#comment-616 This is a really interesting post. I also especially like the 3rd comment. My therapist was talking to me yesterday about how she doesn't think groups for people with anorexia are very beneficial because of the whole "best worst" phenomena. She was saying that, for an anorexic to be in a group, it's been best, in her experience, for there to be a group of people with a mix of EDs (bulimia, BED...) and maybe just one anorexic. There are some eating disorder blogs, run by therapists, that are on the internet. I have found these very useful, in part because I can't see the other participants. The idea of "virtual group therapy" in the case of anorexia is kind of interesting... This is a really interesting post. I also especially like the 3rd comment. My therapist was talking to me yesterday about how she doesn’t think groups for people with anorexia are very beneficial because of the whole “best worst” phenomena. She was saying that, for an anorexic to be in a group, it’s been best, in her experience, for there to be a group of people with a mix of EDs (bulimia, BED…) and maybe just one anorexic. There are some eating disorder blogs, run by therapists, that are on the internet. I have found these very useful, in part because I can’t see the other participants. The idea of “virtual group therapy” in the case of anorexia is kind of interesting…

]]> By: imaginenamaste http://www.greythinking.com/2009/12/04/the-best-worst/comment-page-1/#comment-615 imaginenamaste Sat, 05 Dec 2009 06:38:04 +0000 http://www.greythinking.com/?p=486#comment-615 First--I love your new look! It looks so nice! I completely agree with you on the "best worst"--it has always been an issue with groups/treatments I have been in and we have always talked about it in those settings. But, I really wonder if talking about it gives more attention to the topic and to those that want to be the "best worst"...... First–I love your new look! It looks so nice! I completely agree with you on the “best worst”–it has always been an issue with groups/treatments I have been in and we have always talked about it in those settings. But, I really wonder if talking about it gives more attention to the topic and to those that want to be the “best worst”……

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