Comments on: Positive self-help or self-hurt?

By: Bill Bartmann

Bill Bartmann — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:38:30 +0000

Cool site, love the info.

By: PTC

PTC — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:08:58 +0000

That’s why I just talk trash about myself.

By: Telstaar

Telstaar — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:53:31 +0000

I was thinking as well… being all outwardly positive… it ends up making me feel very isolated and alone! I think because I feel like then I have this crazy internal struggles going on and no one knows and everyone things I’m all upbeat and positive when I’m just TRYING to follow orders/expectations. So I end up keeping more to myself and isolating myself even more so I don’t have to be all happy happy joy joy and I can just BE. I think its also weirder on other people because when all of a sudden I just break down they don’t understand where it came from cause I was being so “positive” etc… *sigh* sorry, more thoughts

By: imaginenamaste

imaginenamaste — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:36:31 +0000

I have to agree again….my therapist and I were talking about me doing “positive self-talk” while she was gone for a few weeks. I thought she was nuts. I have to agree with everyone, I tried to explain to her that, while positive self-talk does sound positive, I almost feel like I am mocking myself and really having to acknowledge set-backs. Rather than being like ‘its okay, it happens,” I am having to focus on it and convince myself that it is okay. Not sure if this makes sense! It does mean something to me when my therapist, nutritionist, friends, and so forth make a comment about positive differences they see in me…but, it does bother me when they use these to make me feel better about a slip. It is almost as if I have to force the positives, and hide the feelings again.

By: BL

BL — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:38:58 +0000

I agree completely!! I honestly feel like being negative, and giving yourself space to be negative, is an important part of recovery. All of this focus on the positive stuff just makes me feel 10x worse when I do feel negative. In reality though, everyone has bad days, and it is important to recognize that bad days are a normal part of life, and it is ok to allow yourself to feel crappy sometimes. If you are always trying to talk yourself up and never allowing yourself to feel negative, then those negative emotions will just keep building up.

I also get really irritated when my therapist/nutritionist/whatever says “you are doing so great, don’t beat yourself up for slipping” or something like that. Because honestly, usually I am beating myself up for doing “well” and eating more, not the other way around. I then feel dumb saying “actually I am not beating myself up for skipping lunch, I am beating myself up for eating extra at dinner.” I would like it much better if I was just allowed to feel what I am feeling, and go from there, rather then being told all the time to be positive.

By: Telstaar

Telstaar — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 01:50:17 +0000

Oh my, I am soooo with you on this, all of it!! I hate positive self talk, it makes me feel like I cannot be real, or that maybe I’m just whinging about things I shouldn’t and argh! Messy. Also when people are always praising me, then I end up feeling also like I”m making a big deal about things that I should not and maybe I’m fine now and really should just shut up. It gets very confusing and ulgh. I’m okay to say a negative with a positive like, “I feel this way but I know this is true” WHEN that is true, but something simply suck regardless. Argh, I don’t think I”m making sense but… I agree with you!!!