Letting it go
I started this day in a panic over insurance. I hate insurance. I know that is such a blind, ignorant statement, but at this moment (and a lot of other moments) I really do.
Unfortunately it is a holiday (well, that in itself is not unfortunate), which means that neither insurance nor my treatment provider is working. There’s nothing I can do about it today. I can’t resubmit my claim or beg for more days. I don’t know if I will be going to my appointment tomorrow.
I don’t want to spend the next 24+ hours fretting over this, but at the same time, I do want to. I know that worrying is not productive, but my mind is filled with “what if?”s and worst-case scenarios. It’s as if turning it over and over in my mind will somehow prepare me for whatever happens tomorrow.
While trying to remind myself that worrying is not productive, I remembered this quote:
Behind all of this lay the “mind like water” concept … when you throw a pebble into a pond, what does the water do? It responds with total appropriateness to the force and mass of the rock. It does nothing more and nothing less. It doesn’t overreact or underreact. It doesn’t react at all. It simply interacts with whatever comes to it and then returns to its natural state. – David Allen, Getting Things Done
So that’s my goal for today and tomorrow: “mind like water.” I have to let it go for today. I will try and be calm until hit with the insurance rocks.
Oh, I feel you on this one! It doesn’t matter whether it’s a big thing, like insurance claims and coverage, or a little thing … this happens to me regularly on Saturdays, when I get the mail and find some bill/statement/something that is *not right* that I want to have resolved *right now* and experience all sorts of anxiety and agitation knowing that I’m going to have to wait until Monday, and even then the phones will be busy w/everyone else who had to wait all weekend!
I hope you can work it out … are you limited to a certain number of OP visits? If you ask for a case manager (at your insurance company), they often will extend your benefits to whatever your provider says you need but approve them in smaller batches and re-certify your continued care on a more regular basis. If you can’t work it out, I hope you can find a way to afford the support you need. Take good care today!
Clearly, David Allen has never actually tried it. When you throw a pebble into a still pond, the ripples spread to every part of its surface. Beneath the surface, every last corner of the body of water experiences the shock wave. Long after the pebble itself has come to rest at the bottom, the pond is still reacting.