Or maybe you're just anorexic
I have been extra tired lately. VERY extra-tired. I go through spells of this and am always fairly convinced that there’s something wrong with me. It’s not normal for someone to get eight hours of sleep and need one – two naps during the day. I end up having conversations with my fiance like this:
grey: I think that I’m anemic.
fiance: oh?
grey: I have all the symptoms — fatigue, headache, difficulty concentrating, pale skin, leg cramps…
fiance: Funny, those sound like the same symptoms of anorexia.
Then, the next month…
grey: I think I have hypothyroidism.
fiance: You don’t say.
grey: No, really — I have all the symptoms. fatigue, dry hair, pale skin, cold intolerance, muscle cramps, depression, abnormal menstrual cycles….
fiance: Kinda like anorexia.
And again….
grey: I think I have mono.
fiance: Let me guess — lack of energy, loss of appetite and chills.
grey: Exactly!
fiance: You don’t have mono, you have anorexia.
grey: I could have anorexia AND mono.
fiance: Do you have a severe sore throat?
grey: Well…. not YET….
Humph. He is right — these could all be consequences of the eating disorder. For the most part I know this, but whenever I feel overly tired of cold or crappy, I really feel like it must be something else. My eating isn’t particularly worse that day — why should I feel worse?
I think that I forget that how I treat (or mistreat) my body compounds over time. If my eating has been off-track for the past three ways, having a great day today isn’t going to guarantee that I feel okay. And, even on a larger scale, I think that years of disorderedness has taken a toll on my body. My eating disorder is nowhere near as severe as it was back in high school, but I still haven’t been 100% over the years. Now I notice how prone to headaches I am (very prone), how I often have stomach aches, how dysfunctional I am on minimal sleep, etc. I can’t get away with the things that I used to be able to. Because my weight is higher and I’m eating more, this doesn’t make sense to me — clearly something ELSE must be wrong with me (like anemia or hypothyroidism or mono). But… maybe all the years of the eating disorder has taken a toll on my body. Beyond the bone density and menstrual issues, maybe I am just not as resilient as I once was.
However… I am still going to have labs done at some point to rule everything out. You know, just in case…. (and in secret hopes of proving my fiance wrong!)
Those conversations could be me and my boyfriend, I’m sure he thinks I’m a hypercondriac, there always feels like there’s something wrong with me..
Sounds like your fiance is a pretty smart guy!! Keep him around.
Hopefully your labs are ok. Um, it’s not normal to sleep 8-9 hours and still need a nap? Ooops.
Laura – I think it doesn’t help that the eating disorder could account for half of the symptoms of any physical problem. Depression, changes in appetite, weight loss/gain, fatigue, muscle spasms, cold intolerance, GI problems… how many diseases / disorders have those criteria?
PTC – It’s pretty likely that my labs are fine, but I swear I am hypothyroid!
I guess I shouldn’t use the word “normal” — everyone has a different normal. It’s not normal for me to sleep 8 – 9 hours and need a nap. I am usually good with 7 (and 8 on weekends).
These conversations sound like the exact ones I have with my doctor!! I find it ironic that at my lowest weight I felt pretty much fine – yeah I was a little tired, but I never really felt awful (maybe that is why I was in such denial). Now, however, I eat way more then I did back then and I weigh more, yet I feel physically bad a good deal of the time. I often think that food will be the answer to making me feel better – if I have a headache I will eat something, or if I feel tired – and when that doesn’t work I still don’t feel well physically, plus I get a headache from obsessing about the food I just ate!
I definitely think there is something to be said for the cumulative effect of an eating disorder though. I forget the exact quote, but Marya Hornbacher says something like “you forget what it is like to feel normal.” I honestly don’t really know what it feels like to be feeding my body appropriately, and I agree that I feel like if I ate well that day then I should feel well!! But I guess it is unrealistic to expect 9 years of damage to correct itself in a day
Definitely have those labs done! The damage done to by GI system during my eating disorder led me to become anemic (long story, slightly gross). I didn’t really think much of it until I had some routine labs done and my doc was all “WTF??” That iron pill really helped!
I still find myself fatigued much more easily post-ED than I was pre-ED. Of course, some of that might be age, but I’m guessing my body just isn’t as tolerant of life as it was before.
Yeah, I guess everyone is different. I need a lot of sleep. I tell everyone I need a lot of sleep because I’m small, like the smaller something is the more sleep they need. (cats, babies).
I’m only 5 ft so that’s my excuse on sleep. 
HAHA!
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Yes years of abuse take their toll on the body and the brain. The worse is how the brain lacks some neurotransmittors and how the thinking process becomes disturb. It is better to see a doctor who is going to do lab test and this way you can have a reality check. I am glad that you are feeling better. It takes a while to recover. Cobntinue the good work.
Dr. Maya Nicole Baylac http://www.raw detox.org
BL – I had a nutritionist tell me once that she didn’t think I ever knew what normal was. I don’t know if I believe that… but whenever I’ve been in treatment with someone who’s had an ED for less than a year, I think “wow, at this time last year things were ‘normal’ for you.” (or closer to normal)
Carrie – Labs are scheduled for June 23 (ugggggh).
PTC – I love your comment about needing more sleep because you’re smaller. Some of my shorter friends are so high-energy, though…
Dr Baylac – I’ve read some research on anxiety levels and perfectionism in women after recovering from eating disorders, and they are higher than controls… makes me wonder how much of that is just personality / temperament and existed before the eating disorder, and how much is a result of the ED.
Thanks for your thoughts, everyone!