There is definitely a stigma surrounding mental illness.  It doesn’t receive the same kind of acceptance as physical illness.  I’m not really going to get into stigmatization and society and whatnot, but I just want to make it clear that I believe that physical illness is much more understood than mental illness.

That said, I am a little disappointed to read this article on relationships and mental health:

A partner is four times more likely to leave you because of a mental health condition like depression than because of a physical disability.

The survey, which asked people about issues that would make them break off a romantic relationship found that 20 per cent of British women wouldn’t stay with someone if they were diagnosed with schizophrenia, yet only a few of them would break up with someone who became disabled and needed to use a wheelchair.

The article chalks up the entire discrepancy to stigmatization.  Naturally, I think that there are other elements contributing to this problem:

1. Personality changes – I think the biggest issue is that mental illness has a larger impact on your personality, mood, and temperament.  It’s not easy to be around someone who is really depressed.  You want to connect with your partner, spend time with them, and in general just be happy to be around them.  Most mental illnesses cause people to push others away, be irritable, isolate, etc.  These qualities are not very conducive to relationships.  In high school, my eating disorder definitely affected my relationships.  I didn’t want to go out to eat.  I didn’t want to see a late-night movie because I was too tired.  I took everything personally and was really depressed.  I was much more interested in the disorder than in my relationships.  I was not a fun date (to say the least).
2. Expectations of recovery – I think that it’s frustrating to be with someone who you feel should be getting better, but isn’t.  If you are in a wheelchair (to continue with the article’s example), you might never be expected to walk again.  However, if you have an eating disorder, you are expected to get over it.  It’s tiring to spend years and years worrying about someone who is continually in and out of treatment, rarely making significant gains in their recovery.  Your expectations are different.  Realistic or not, it can be exhausting to watch someone chronically struggle and feel like they don’t necessarily even want to get better.
3. You don’t know what you’re getting into. When you start dating a guy in a wheelchair, you know he’s in a wheelchair.  You very well may not know that your date is bipolar, though.  Again, it’s an expectations thing.
4. Baggage. As non-PC as this is, it’s true — mental illness carries a lot more emotional baggage than physical illness.  Someone with a mental illness is more likely to have a familial history of mental illness, childhood abuse, an alcoholic parent, or some other kind of trauma.  Eating disorders don’t develop in a vacuum, right?

Naturally, I wouldn’t discourage anyone from dating someone with a mental illness.  Actually, I don’t even like the “mental illness” label.  If we’re all on a mental health / mental illness continuum, then where do you draw the line, anyway?  (this is a discussion for another time!)  I just think that there’s a lot more at play than just stigmatization.