While in the past I have been disappointed with some of NEDA’s literature/suggestions for coping with an eating disorder, I found their “Twelve Ideas to Help People with eating Disorder Negotiate the Holidays” to have some useful tips. To summarize:

1. Eat regularly and don’t try to compensate for what you just ate or are about to eat.
2. Focus on the spirit of the holiday (relationships, things your thankful for, etc).
3. Discuss the holiday ahead of time with your treatment team.
4. Come up with a game plan–who are your support people? Where are your exits if you need to escape?
5. Talk with loved ones about other important issues/themes in your life (non-food or body image related)
6. Decide ahead of time who you can call for support if you’re struggling.
7. Have one friend/relative be your “reality check” with food.
8. Take a few minutes, several times a day, to center yourself
9. Make your goals about “doing something” rather than trying to prevent something.
10. Try to be flexible.
11. Stay active in treatment as much as possible.
12. Avoid “overstressing” and “overbooking” yourself

I found a few of these to be particularly helpful:
1. Eat regularly and don’t compensate - I’m not one to treat Thanksgiving as the “last supper,” but I do definitely try to compensate before and after for the meal…. rather than treating it as a regular day. I think that somewhat planning ahead and figuring out what you’re going to eat throughout the day (including at dinner) could be helpful.

2. Come up with a game plan – Excellent idea… it’s definitely possible to work things out so that you sit next to a certain person (or avoid someone else). I think that having an exit plan is also key. Things seem far less stressful to me when I don’t feel trapped.

3. Decide ahead of time who you’ll call for support - Who’s your person? (Grey’s Anatomy Reference). You need someone to be able to text “SOS.”

4. Take a few minutes a day to center yourself - I am really not into the deep breathing/guided meditation stuff… but when I’m at home I can get so caught up in the old atmosphere. Suddenly it’s like I’m in high school again…with the same issues, same arguments with my siblings, etc. I need to remind myself all the time, “Let it go. This is not your real life. In three days you will go home and not even remember the argument you had with your sister.”

5. Make your goals about “doing something” rather than preventing something - I think it’s much more constructive when you have something to DO… not something to avoid. I am going to eat turkey, I am going to excuse myself from the table, I am going to get out of the house, etc. Rather than “I am not going to let my uncle’s remarks get to me.”

For me, I think the biggest thing is making my sanity the priority. I am so preoccupied with trying to entertain everyone and guard against any suspicions that I still may have eating issues, that I completely disregard how I’m feeling. As a result I put myself in situations that I cannot handle (well). I like to think that I can eat intuitively this whole trip, not planning anything… but somewhere I know that’s not smart. I’d consider Thanksgiving to be a “high risk” situation. You shouldn’t be unprepared.