No one would tell a recovering drug/alcohol addict that they should be able to go hang out at a bar or party with their drug-using friends, and yet abstain.

Similarly, I refuse to put myself in a situation with an all you can eat buffet, someone talking about dieting, etc.

Drug and alcohol recovery says that addicts should stay away from:
people
places, &
things
that remind them of their addiction, or that were part of their addiction.

I am getting all this info from Larry, fyi. ha ha. I have not myself struggled with any use of drugs or alcohol. just all my other issues!

It’s so weird when I think about this, because I equate it to dog training. In dog training, we’re always taught to set the dog up for “success.” And in that way, it’s about knowing the dog and what its capabilities are at that time. Many times, people put their dogs in unnecessarily stressful situations in which the dog cannot handle. So there’s the question of why put the dog in that situation? However, on the same token, learning to teach the dog to work through the situation if the dog can handle it even though there is still some stress, can eventually lead to more confidence in the dog.

So I guess my vote is that there is no generic one way generalization about it, and that it should all be based on the individual and where or if they are in recovery.

My advice is to weigh (pardon the pun) which is more triggering for you – bread staring you in the face and possibly making its way into your mouth or the comments of others.

You could also just claim your allergic if people ask. (but, alas, this also frequently leads to personal, nosey, obnoxious questions).

In conclusion, there’s no easy answer.

I also think it’s interesting how society is becoming more calorie-conscious but the rates of obesity are still climbing? I think that there is a widening gap between the two extremes–those who are obsessed with dieting or calorie-counting and those who are ignorant about the whole thing. I don’t think that putting calorie-contents on menus is going to help those who don’t even know what they are looking at?

eshoe: yes! recovery is about taking care of yourself… and if that means not sitting in front of a bread basket, then that’s the healthy thing to do.

Lola: I agree that vacation breakfast buffets have to be some kind of ultimate challenge. I like the idea of your beginner, intermediate and advanced recovery stages–in terms of challenging yourself vs. taking care of yourself.

It’s called knowing yourself and protecting you.

Would you send a recovered alcoholic to the bar for a meet-up? mmmm, prpbably not such a hot idea.

You have gotta take care of you, because you’re all you have.

On a slightly different note, I think that the world (and particularly America’s) obsession with calories and dieting creates an interesting twist on this. I was literally just reading an article with weight loss tips that recommended refusing the bread or chips basket. In other words, this article considered refusing the bread to be a NORMAL way to maintain a healthy weight. NYC also recently started posting the calories at chain restaurants – so is it now normal for me to count calories? On my iphone I can download a free calorie counting program – but is this ok? I think once again this is an example of where something that might be healthy for most people is just not ok for someone in recovery from an eating disorder.